Could not agree more. iPad was poison for my kids too. I did not get rid of it but “lost” it for a while. Later we made the rule that it could only be used while we traveled. And I heavily restricted the apps accessible on it.
Instead we let the kids use PlayStation and a regular computer. It has issues too but it is easier to control as you cannot move them around. Also they sit in a better position and we have generally encouraged them to play games on the console with other kids rather than alone.
But the iPad was truly a wake up call for me as an old geek prone to be mesmerized by technology. So many of my ideas about the iPad turned out wrong. It was not good for teaching them to draw as I thought it would be. Plain old pencils, brushes etc much better.
Learning to read was much better with children’s books and comics. Although we did have some benefits from early spelling.
Basically I found that any opportunity with the iPad got undermined by its ability to distract the user.
I have been trying to pass on my experience to other who have small kids but they don’t listen and instead make exactly the same mistake. Even worse than me. It is really sad to see.