Hehehe yeah it is very hard to see ahead. It is like the difference between articulating something and reading something.

If you speak a second language you may have observed how much easier it is to read it than to write it or speak it.

I see the same with my writing. The concept I am writing about is often not clear to me before I begin writing. The insight is often gained in the process of writing.

Sometimes what I write gets messy. I'll push out the story anyway, and tell myself that I will make a better variant on the next attempt.

This story bombed first time I wrote it years ago. Nobody seemed to have understood the point I was trying to make. It really annoyed me as I thought there was an important point to express, but I was just not sure how to get it right. It was in the back of my head for years to make a second attempt.