I touching story, and very human. You should not feel ashamed. Easier said than done. You think in a way that is natural in relation to how the world actually is.

We wish skin color was not something we had to care about. But unforunately the world we live in, is one where skin color matters. That is not your fault, as some commenters here seem to suggest. That the fault of how society happens to work.

These contradictions are part of being human. It does not even need to be about skin color. We always want our children to be as "normal" as possible, whatever that is.

Well that it whatever the society we live in have deemed "normal". As a parent with mixed children I happened to get in conversations with other parents with mixed kids.

I quickly learned that the stories from mothers or fathers with half-black children was quite different from my own. The children would get the kind of questions my kids never get, such as "Where are you from dear?"

Forunately this is Norway, and you don't get shot by the police because you got the wrong skin color.

Every parent of course has to weigh all the pros and cons, but at least keep in mind that while racism exist in some form everywhere it is for the most part not as lethal as in the US. In most of western Europe getting a job that requires higher education is the only requirement to get a residency permit.

Not saying it is the right choice, but at least worth knowing that it is not as hard as people think. I know many foreigners working in Norway and common for all of them is that most of them where quite surprised how easy it was to get residence permit.