Erik Engheim
1 min readJun 25, 2020

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Look, I am doing you a favor by pointing this out. A lot of old patriarchs don't think there is an issue with their behavior around women.

Many women have accounts of how they are frequently told to smile by men. It is a classic thing for "old patriarchs" to opinion that women should not be angry. They should be smiling and be compliant.

Back in the 60s this is what house wife's where often told. Don't fuss when your husband comes home from work. Give him a calm and relaxing atmosphere. Women where expected to be caring and calming and not have strong opinions.

Being angry and passonate about an issue was seen as un-womenly.

That you describe yourself as "defender of faith" and "guess I'am politically incorrect" is a bit of a giveaway. Among conservative Christians these kinds of gender stereotypes are well known to be more prevalent. Women are supposed to be in the background, supporting their husband. They are not supposed to speak up.

Whether conscious or not that is what you are reacting to her. A women is passionate about something, and due to your core patriarchical conservative values that immediately rubs you the wrong way.

You don't have to believe me, but ask a young women who is not deeply religious how she views your comment, and it will not be positive.

I apologize for being a bit harsh initially. Calling out people like that is usually not an effect way of getting people to see they have an issue.

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Erik Engheim
Erik Engheim

Written by Erik Engheim

Geek dad, living in Oslo, Norway with passion for UX, Julia programming, science, teaching, reading and writing.

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