Thanks Tara! To answer your last question. Families usually don’t eat exactly at the same time. Especially when we are dealing with families of different immigrant backgrounds.

Usually kids have a time to be home given by their parents. Often when kids visit us they got a time to be home which they tell us or their parents call and tell them to come home for dinner.

We got a Vietnamese kid frequently visiting. He is actually around in the kitchen often when we eat. I frequently ask if he wants some food. I have noticed I do it more often since writing this piece, but I am reminded every time why we don’t ask: It is just not how things work and children don’t expect or want to eat away from home unless it was planned.

Like we do specific invitations for eating ahead of time, but very few if anybody says yes to an unplanned dinner.

And I think this is an important takeaway: The way we so this is about a mutual understanding. It isn’t like there are hungry children on one side desperate to get food and mean cold hearted parents on the other side. We are all part of the same culture in terms of what we expect and want to do. Also practice around dinner isn’t an isolated cultural trait.

All social interactions are different. In all things we do we try to not stand in the way of others or trouble others. You can see that even in things like a restaurant visit. A waiter will be much more careful about going over to your table an asking how things are in Norway compared to the US. In the US service culture encourages a very pro-active relation to customers. Nordic culture is pretty much the opposite: stay out of the way until requested.