Who is Worse Off? Men or Women?

Has society become too feminized and favoring women too much? Are men big losers?

Erik Engheim
7 min readJul 10

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The rise of people like Andrew Tate and more reasonable variants like Jordan Peterson is built on the narrative that men have become losers and society has become centered around the values and needs of women. We are told that masculinity no longer has any value and only feminine values get attention.

How true is all of this? Norwegian psychology student Adam Njå wrote an article in on the pages of Norwegian Broadcasting (NRK) called Men in Lady Land.

I actually agree with a lot of what he writes. Men often end up as losers in today’s society. Schools reward behavior which is more typical of women, such as sitting still and paying attention. Boys are naturally far more physical and with a strong need to move around and act out. That gets them in trouble. Men are more likely to drink, engage in risky sports and kill themselves through reckless behavior.

So, what is my issue with this narrative? My issue is with what is left out. It gives the impression that men are the ones always losing, women are always winning and women have all the advantages in today’s society. The reality is that both genders are winning and loosing in different arenas. Both genders need help to counter discrimination they face in different arenas.

When in school, more meek and compliant behavior is rewarded, but the complete opposite is the case when entering the job market. Hence, we end up with the irony that despite women generally doing better in school, they end up getting outcompeted by men in the job market. But why are women outcompeted?

Because the traits that get men in trouble in school benefit them in the workplace. The naturally competitive and more aggressive instincts of men make them better at grabbing top positions. At job interviews, men are more likely to be confident and brag about their skills and talents. Women are far more inclined to downplay their skills. Once at work, men will also dominate at the workplace. They will seize the word in meetings, and be charge ahead on initiatives even when they lack the skill to do it. I like reading a lot of history of various pioneers and explorers. What is fascinating is how…

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Erik Engheim

Geek dad, living in Oslo, Norway with passion for UX, Julia programming, science, teaching, reading and writing.